As your wedding date nears, friends and relatives will want to set aside time for a variety of celebrations before your wedding day. Enjoy this time, but don’t overdo things by scheduling too many events back-to-back. Allow enough time to finalize plans and to relax before your wedding day. Click on one our links below for tips on planning your activity!

Showers - tips and ideas for planning bridal or couple showers
Bachelorette – tips and ideas for planning the bachelorette party
Bachelor - tips and ideas for planning the bachelor party
Luncheon - - tips and ideas for planning the bridesmaids’ luncheon
Rehearsal – tips and ideas for planning the rehearsal dinner

Showers
Showers give friends and family the opportunity to get acquainted before the wedding, and allow guests to provide the bride and groom with things they will need to start their new life together. Showers can be given for the bride and groom individually, or the host/hostess may choose to throw a “couples” shower and invite both male and female friends.

Showers are usually given a month or two before the wedding. It is financially practical (and more fun) for two or three people to host a shower together, since they can get expensive. A shower should not be hosted by the mothers of the bride or groom, or by their immediate family. Showers should be hosted by the maid of honor, or other close friends or family members.

If the bride will be given more than one shower, try to invite different people to each one. This will allow the bride/couple to spend time with a variety of people and will reduce the need for guests to purchase multiple shower and wedding gifts, which can get quite expensive. Also, be sure that anyone invited to a shower is also invited to the wedding and/or reception.

Planning

• Traditionally, the hostess and the bride confer to set a date, determine the guest list, and pick a theme. Bridal showers are normally hosted in the afternoon, but lately brides have opted for showers given in the evening that include a cocktail hour.
• Another new trend is the couple shower, where friends of both the bride and groom are invited. These can be quite fun because they allow the men to really get into the fun of buying “guy” gifts for the groom.

Themes

• You can select a theme for either the traditional bridal shower or a couple shower. Theme showers are a good idea if multiple showers are being given for the bride. They will prevent duplication of gifts, and can generate a wide variety of gifts.

  Some great theme shower ideas include:

  • Around the clock shower – each guest is supplied with a time of day in the invitation and they must purchase a gift appropriate for that time of day. For example, a guest who gets 5 pm might purchase cookware or some other cooking or kitchen items.
  • Lingerie or personal shower – Guests help the bride prepare her trousseau by purchasing sexy lingerie, camisoles, pajamas or robes. They can also buy perfume, beach cover-ups, bath accessories, or other items that might be great for the honeymoon.
  • Linen shower – If possible, let guests know the bride’s color scheme so they can select appropriate towels, sheets, pillows, blankets, bathroom sets, scales, etc.
  • Kitchen shower – This is a great theme for brides or couples who like to cook. Have each guest bring a favorite recipe and some corresponding ingredients or utensils to go with it. The hostess can provide a special recipe book to hold all of the new recipes. Or, a Pampered Chef shower allows guests to come and enjoy an evening of food and beverages with the bride (and/or groom) and purchase gifts from the couple’s Pampered Chef registry.
  • Bar shower – For the couple who loves to entertain, this is a great shower idea. Guests can bring some type of barware, stemware or drink mixing hardware, along with the alcohol or mixer needed for a particular drink. They can even bring their favorite drink recipe. This is a great way to get the new couple set up with everything from bar napkins to cocktail shakers and ice buckets.

 

At the Shower

• One of the hostesses will need to sit with the bride or couple and write down what each gift is, and who brought it, so the bride can send out thank-you notes promptly after the shower. (See the Guest List Planner under planning tools to print out a spreadsheet that the hostess can use to keep track of gifts).
• It is customary for the bride to provide the host/hostess with a small gift as a thank you for throwing the shower. This may be done on the day of the shower, or afterwards when the thank-you note is sent.

Bachelorette Party
The bachelorette party is a great way for the bride and friends to blow off a little steam before the wedding. The party is usually thrown by bridesmaids and good friends, who chip in to cover the bride’s expenses during the evening. The night can be as wild or as tame as the bride prefers and there are tons of ways to celebrate.

Ideas

• Take her to a casino
• Visit a spa
• Karaoke
• Have a wine and cheese party
• Have a fondue party
• Set up a scavenger hunt where the bride has to go from location to location and acquire items
• Men’s business cards
• A pair of men’s underwear
• Create t-shirts that list all the different clubs you want to visit and check them off as you visit each one. (This makes for a great souvenir for the bride and friends to keep.)
• Go to a comedy club
• Go on a weekend camping trip
• Go to the beach for the weekend
• Take an off-season trip to paradise (this can be pricey, but look for all-inclusive packages during the off-season)
• Rent a limo and cruise around the city to dinner and clubs.
• Create a theme for the party and have all the girls dress accordingly.
  • Grease
  • Marti Gras
  • 70s night/Disco night
• Call ahead to any special places to make sure you can get in.

Tips

• Talk to the bride and establish her comfort level. Does she want a wild night complete with male strippers or a simple slumber party hanging out with friends? It is her party, so make sure it is how she wants to spend her last days as a single woman!

• Set a date – Pick a weekend night a week or two before the wedding so everyone has time to recuperate.

• Create the guest list.
• Send invitations.
• Get a designated driver, or arrange for transportation.
• If you are partying at home, plan the food and beverages and make a shopping list.
• Divide responsibilities among the hostesses.
• Confirm RSVPs.
• Confirm transportation arrangements.
• Create a makeshift veil so the bride is easily identifiable. Get creative by attaching elements of the night’s theme or other cute momentos.
• Get the bride some sexy accessories. A feather boa, tiara, etc. , to help her stand out in the crowd.

Any one of the above ideas, or a combination will make for a night of great fun and memories. Don’t forget to take several disposable cameras to record the evidence!

Bachelor Parties & Other Outings
The bachelor party began as the groom’s last chance to celebrate his single freedom with his friends. The bachelor party can be hosted by the best man, the groom’s father, or even the groom himself. Oftentimes, the groom and his pals try to squeeze in a couple of group outings in addition to the bachelor party. See below for information on planning several types of outings.

Ideas

• Take the groom to a casino
• Go on a camping or fishing trip
• Go deep sea fishing
• Hold a “ball and chain” golf outing
• Skydive
• Go whitewater rafting
• Go to a strip club or get a stripper
• Play beer golf – visit multiple bars and have a drink at each “hole”
• Go to your favorite local dive and just hang out
• Plan a “high rollers” poker night
• Go to a cigar bar
• Take in a professional basketball, football, baseball or hockey game

  Tips

• When planning the party, get a feel for how the groom wants to spend his last night as a single man. Does he want a low-key night of drinking and shooting pool with his buddies, or a wild night on the town, complete with limos and strippers?
• Get his input regarding the guest list, too. It should include close male friends and family members.
• Select the location or locations
• Plan the party the weekend before (or at least several days before) the wedding to give everyone time to recuperate from the outing.
• Get a designated driver, arrange for transportation for the evening, or split the cost of a couple of hotel rooms where everyone can crash.
• Split costs between all the guests to cover all of the groom’s expenses for the evening.

Any one of the above ideas, or a combination will make for a night out with the boys. Don’t forget to take several disposable cameras to record the evidence!

Bridesmaid’s Luncheon
Most brides host a bridesmaid’s luncheon to thank all of the girls for being a part of the big day and all of the associated hoopla. It is usually held a day or two before the wedding so that out-of-town guests get to spend a little quality time with the bride. However, if you are concerned about finalizing details and being frazzled, schedule it anytime the week before the wedding. Everyone will want it to be an opportunity to relax.

Invite all of your attendants…flower girls, too! Mothers, mothers-in-law, grandmothers and any other close female family members should be on the list. You’ll want to keep the gathering small, since it is one of the last times you’ll get to spend with friends and family before you get married.

Pick a location that is convenient for your guests, has a great atmosphere and offers great food. You may want to pick a place that has special significance for all of you…like a favorite hangout. Don’t forget unusual options like picnics, cookouts or someone’s home. These all offer cozy, intimate settings for celebrating with friends.

Think about the level of formality you want. Would you and your friends enjoy the formal tea type luncheon or would you prefer something a touch more casual? The goal is to unwind, so don’t overdo on the details.

The luncheon provides the perfect opportunity for giving your bridesmaids their gifts. Place the goodies at their seats, hand them out one-by-one or use any other method you please. Spend a few minutes with each bridesmaid to let her know how much it means to you that she is a part of your wedding day.

Spa Day
Some brides prefer to treat their bridesmaids to a day at the spa over a luncheon, or they schedule the luncheon at the spa and provide the spa treatments as the bridesmaids’ gift.

Rehearsal Dinner
The Rehearsal dinner is traditionally hosted by the groom’s parents on the eve of the wedding. The rehearsal allows everyone to get familiar with the setting and with his or her individual role in the wedding. The dinner follows the rehearsal and allows attendants and immediate family members to get acquainted with one another and to celebrate in an intimate setting with the bride and groom.

This event can be as formal or casual as you wish. It can be held in a banquet room or restaurant, set up as a cookout or catered at a family member’s home. Talk to your host about your wishes, but remember that you will need to work within his or her budget.

The guest list should include immediate family members, members of the wedding party and their spouses or significant others, parents of any child attendants and the officiant and his/her spouse. It is quite common for many of the out-of-town guests to be invited to the rehearsal dinner as a way to thank them for traveling to join you for the big day.

If you wish to keep the rehearsal dinner small, host a cocktail reception for out-of-town guests on another night.

The rehearsal dinner should give everyone the opportunity to relax and unwind before the big day. You and the groom may choose to give out gifts all of your attendants at this gathering. The choice is entirely up to you, and may depend on whether or not the groom has scheduled any pre-wedding activities with his attendants.

Regardless of which pre-wedding activities you participate in, always remember to relax and have a good time. Use the time to escape the worries and hassles of wedding plans and truly take time to appreciate some great times with friends and family.